Day 155: Hose Nose

Laetitia took her group for a hike in Salt River Canyon. She had hoped that when she finished with California she would leave behind all of those aspiring writers looking for advice, but she was wrong. After a few days’ respite, there was another writer in her group. At least he wasn’t another of those aspiring novelists of the hard-boiled detective school. His novel, in manuscript form, was a western, and since they had just been in the Sonoran Desert, that seemed more appropriate. He began reading:

“Lyin’ Arizona Slim was a thin man—so skinny, folks said, that if he danced around in a rain storm, the drops would miss him—and so tall in the saddle that when he rode ramrod stiff, as he always did, you could see his Stetson over the top of a saguaro cactus. But there was another thing about him that was long and slim and poker-straight—something that women whispered about, especially after the preacher gave his monthly sermon on sin. And that was his nose, which looked like Pinoccio’s and earned him his nickname.”

Laetitia said to the author, “You’re pretty good with bait and switch; you should write limericks.” Just then the van driver drove up to whisk them off to Show Low, where they were spending the night. On the way to their motel, they passed a fast-food stand that seemed to offer more than just fried chicken. It was the source of the limerick of the day.

A young entrepreneur from Show Low
Advertised sex with food on the go
His ad said breasts and thighs
Along with French fries
Could be had at his drive-up window.

Day 87: Arboreal Tryst?

Kilkee is a seaside town in County Clare. Though they are not as well-known as the Cliffs of Moher, near Kilkee are cliffs that are just as spectacular, with some lovely stretches of sandy beach. Laetitia and her group spent the day doing beach and cliff walks. Laetitia usually made it a point in Ireland to go to a pub sometime in late afternoon before going to dinner. The gossip she picked up at pubs was unreliable, but sometimes made for interesting limericks. Today’s offering is one such example.

When a randy colleen from Kilkee
Was desirous of sex in a tree
Said her boyfriend young Earl,
“I ain’t no bloody squirrel,”
And “you’d best let that idea be.”