Day 120: Last Night in Paradise

For their last day in Hawaii, before moving on to Alaska, most of Laetitia’s group wanted to go shopping. Some went to elegant shops for clothing and beachwear, but others went to Hilo Hattie’s looking for bargains. In the evening, they came early for happy hour and had drinks for several hours before having a late dinner. It was the last evening in “paradise,” and Mike, a rancher from Montana, Daphne, an office manager from New Jersey, and Clem, a retiree from Vermont, were desperate to have one last fling before going home, providing Laetitia with material for three limericks.

Young Mike from Montana’s Big Sky land
Cruised beach bars as he tried to beguile and
Entice young wahines
With double martinis
To wed him and leave the Big Island.

When Daphne from near Perth Amboy
Came to visit Hawaii for poi
She escaped her bikini
Just like old Houdini
When seduced by a beachcomber’s ploy.

Old Clem from near Ticklenaked Pond
Viewed himself as a senior James Bond
On Hawaiian adventures
‘Til he lost his dentures
As he tried to make time with a blonde.

Day 119: Steam Vent Event

Those who live in geothermally active areas have opportunities for fun not available to those who live elsewhere. One such pleasure, if one can call it that, is to prepare food in volcanic steam vents. Laetitia and her group were hiking among the lava rocks and tree ferns. She brought along a catered picnic lunch that included pupus, which are Hawaiian appetizers.

A fellow named Kent from St. Paul, Minnesota had brought along wieners to cook in a steam vent, but when he found he had forgotten buns and condiments, he went home in disgust. One of the real benefits that Mind’s Eye tour directors have is that they don’t have to keep track of those who join their tours, nor must they file reports if people leave early. Kent’s predicament gave Laetitia the limerick of the day.

When a callow young fellow named Kent
Craved a hot dog cooked in a steam vent
He forgot bread and mustard
Which left him so flustered
That back home to St. Paul he went.

Day 118: Naughty Nene

Laetitia took her group to Hawaiian Volcanoes National Park, which was created to preserve the natural setting of lava flows, craters, and lush rain forests that followed from eruptions of Mauna Loa and Kilauea in the recent and distant past. The group walked through lava tubes and hiked among lava and pumice interspersed with vegetation.

The Nene goose is found Hawaii. It is a close relative of the Canada goose and mostly feeds on the ‘Ohelo berries that grow in the area. The birds are flightless, and in their present habitat flight seems not to provide a selective advantage. The adult geese can be quite aggressive, and an incident involving two members of her group gave Laetitia the limerick of the day.

A buxom young hiker named Mary
Who bent down for an ‘Ohelo berry
Flushed an irked Nene goose
Who “goosed” her caboose
So she shrieked, spun around, and slapped Larry.

Day 117: Olivine Scene

One of Laetitia’s pleasures in conducting these tours of the Hawaiian Islands was that the packets of freshly roasted coffee beans that she found next to the coffee maker each morning when she arrived at the Emerald Victorian were 100 percent Kona coffee. Obviously, the mysterious powers that be at Mind’s Eye Limerick Tours had a source. Although pure Kona coffee is easily obtainable in the Islands, what is commonly marketed as Kona coffee in mainland United States is a blend of only 10 percent Kona. It doesn’t resemble the real thing.

One of the attractions on the big island of Hawaii for those who like secluded sun-bathing is Papakõlea Beach, better known as “the beach with green sand.” The sand is composed of a silicate of iron and magnesium called Olivine. Laetitia took her group there. A woman from Ohio named Claire, who had joined her tour, was so enamored with all of the tanned muscular men on the beach that she didn’t want to go home.

Lying there on the beach with green sand
Claire opined that her life was quite bland
Back home in Sandusky
Where men weren’t as husky
And, certainly not as well tanned.