Day 206: Hanky Pantry

Lantry is an unincorporated community in South Dakota not too far from Lake Oahe, the large reservoir created by damming the Missouri River. Today’s tour group consisted entirely of fishing enthusiasts who wanted to fish for bass on Lake Oahe, so Laetitia chartered a boat and a guide and they spent the day on the lake. They arrived in Lantry in late afternoon and did a walkabout before going to dinner and their motel. Talking to some of the local residents on the walkabout, Laetitia heard some gossip about a minister who had had to leave town.

Ministers in small towns have a very difficult time, especially if they are young. Some members of their congregation think they work only the hour each week when they are behind the pulpit. Also their lives are under constant scrutiny, and they are often held to a higher standard than other people. Laetitia felt sorry for the minister who was the subject of the gossip, but she wrote the limerick anyway.

White flour handprints on the dress
Of the preacher’s landlady, named Tess,
From a tryst in the pantry
Were a scandal in Lantry
And he soon left town under duress.

Day 193: Girdle Hurdle

Fertile, Minnesota is not far from Climax. In Rude World, Bailey and Hurst recount an unverifiable legend that when a woman from Fertile had a fatal automobile accident in Climax, local newspapers ran the headline, “Fertile Woman Dies in Climax.” Fertile has around 900 inhabitants. Laetitia and her group stopped for lunch there. They were there just long enough to pick up some gossip on which to base the day’s limerick.

A buxom old lady from Fertile
Sprang over a fence like a hurdle
Racing toward the latrine
But too late it would seem
For too slow, she got out of her girdle.

Day 140: Denture Adventure

The next stop on Laetitia’s tour of the western United States was in California. She and her group hiked among the cinder cones and ancient lava and pumice fields of Lava Beds National Monument, a relic of California’s volcanic past. They then stopped at Redwood National Park for more hiking amidst the tranquil beauty of the tall trees. That evening they stayed in Big Bar.

At dinner that evening, Laetitia overheard two ladies talking about an older fellow of their acquaintance named Morgan. He dressed well, was a good conversationalist, and was generous with his money. He was often seen with ladies, but never the same one. One woman confided to the other that she had gone out with Morgan and knew the reason for all the one-night stands.

As she thought about it, it occurred to Laetitia how important eavesdropping was in her newfound profession as a Mind’s Eye Limerick tour guide. She imagined her supervisor back at Mind’s Eye headquarters, whoever and wherever that was, using phrases like, “eavesdrops well,” “pumps locals well for gossip,” and carouses well with bartenders,” in her evaluation.

The ladies’ conversation provided the limerick of the day.

When old Morgan, who lived in Big Bar
Courted ladies he never got far
It would seem that each date
Was going first rate
‘Til his dentures went into the jar.