Day 148: Kitsch Glitch

Built in 1772, the Mission at San Luis Obispo was one of seven missions founded by Father Junipero Cerra. The missions are a day’s ride apart along the southern California coast. With a mild year-around climate and stunning views of the Pacific Ocean, the town of San Luis Obispo is a mecca for tourists and those who wish to reside there. The local residents have worked hard to discourage the kind of overdevelopment that has plagued other California communities and maintain the town’s attractiveness as a place to live. It has a thriving arts community and is home to a number of artists and writers.

For some reason Laetitia couldn’t fathom, more and more aspiring writers began showing up on her tours and asking her to comment on their work. She never knew what the people in the central office at Mind’s Eye Limerick Tours were up to. Perhaps they were touting these as some sort of literary tours. In any case, a man named Wayne showed up on this day’s tour with his manuscript in hand and asked her to read it. Since she was an attractive young woman, she couldn’t be sure Wayne wasn’t just hitting on her, but she started reading the manuscript anyway. It read:

“The clenched fist pounded with staccato blows of savage intensity, pummeling relentlessly until the thick scarlet liquid spattered, oozed, and finally gushed forth in a torrent, drowning the macerated flesh beneath. Wilmer sighed, replaced the cap on the now-empty catsup bottle, called his waitress, and asked her to take away the catsup-inundated hamburger and bring him another.”

Laetitia handed it back to him, saying, “Nice bait and switch, but hamburger lovers will hate you for calling their favorite food macerated flesh.”

That evening Laetitia and her group stayed at the Madonna Inn, known worldwide for its rather garish décor. At dinner Laetitia overheard a conversation that gave her the limerick of the day.

When Jake and LaVonne went to sin
With a tryst at the Madonna Inn
He thought it was dandy
For kitsch made him randy
But she viewed the place with chagrin.