Tag Archives: Blackwater River

Day 67: Golf Score

Posted on by

Lismore Abby was founded in the seventh century near the Blackwater River in what is now County Waterford. The name “Lismore” is derived from Lois Mòr, meaning great ring-fort in Gaelic. In the twelfth century, Lismore Castle was built on the site of the former monastery.

The castle was owned by Sir Walter Raleigh at one time, and was later purchased by the Boyle family. In 1627, Robert Boyle, the famous scientist for whom Boyle’s Law is named, was born in the castle. During the nineteenth century, the castle was rebuilt in its present Gothic style.

This is an area abounding with natural beauty and history, so Laetitia was a bit disappointed when she found that her group consisted entirely of golfers who had joined the tour so they could play golf at the Gold Coast Golf Course, about 10 miles away. True, it is a lovely course, with stunning views of the ocean, but golf courses weren’t Laetitia’s cup of tea. She arranged for the golfers to play, and while they were on the course, she spent her time drinking a Guinness at the 19th Hole and writing the day’s limerick, which for some unexplained reason happened to be about a golfer.

When a golfer who lived in Lismore
Did in ecstasy loudly shout “Fore”
His wife scolded that she
Had been short changed by three
And he’d just better even the score.

Day 66: Poi Joy

Posted on by

Fermoy is a town of around 6,000 residents on the Blackwater River in County Cork. Its Gaelic name, Mainistir Fhear Mai, means “Monastery of the Men of the Plain.” It was named after a Cistercian Abbey that was nearby from the thirteenth century until monasteries were dissolved during the reign of Henry VIII and their lands transferred to the king’s supporters.

Laetitia took her group to Ballyhooly Castle and on a hike in Castleblagh Woods. When they did their walkabout in Fermoy, Laetitia heard a story about a middle-aged woman from Fermoy who went to Hawaii and decided to stay there.

Went a spinster who lived in Fermoy
To Hawaii, she said, to try poi
And was modest and staid
Until she got leid
And went off in search of a boy toy.

Day10: Boards and Nails

Posted on by

Today Laetitia took her group to Mallow in County Cork, a market town on the Blackwater River that is known for its salmon fishing. The ladies of the group went into a shop with a sign that said “nails” to get manicures. While they were there, a farmer came in trying to buy nails for building his fence.

Meanwhile, in a local pub, a fellow at the bar told the men from Laetitia’s tour that the farmer had been in the pub and had received bad advice from several jokers drinking at a table in the corner. He ended by saying, “You’ll never guess where they sent him to buy boards.” The farmer’s story became the subject of Laetitia’s limerick of the day.

At Mallow, a callow young fellow
To fence his new field that was fallow
Went searching for sales
Where a shop sign read, “Nails”
And for boards, went to a bordello.