Sipping coffee in the library of the Emerald Victorian, Laetitia pondered what to do next. She thought she’d stay in Devon a bit longer before moving on. So far she had enjoyed visiting the places that she had picked out of the Bailey and Hurst books, and she thought her tour guests had enjoyed them too. She picked up Rude UK, looking for additional places in Devon, and found “Hole” and “Westward Ho!” She thought to herself. “Who would want to live in a place called Hole?” Then she thought of J. R. R. Tolkein’s The Hobbit, which begins: “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.” She met her guests in Hole, but didn’t find any hobbits. All she found was a young man named Ace, who talked at length about his love of poker and his amorous ambitions, and provided the multiple-verse limerick of the day.
Ace longs with his heart and his soul
To go out with the ladies from Hole
And introduce poker
While playing the joker
In a manner exceedingly droll.
He’ll explain to them first what’s an ante
While dining at a restorante
And try to besot
Them to sweeten the pot
With rioja and salsa picante.
He will say that it’s so close to heaven
Playing stud, either five-card or seven
Which is played without drawers*
In casinos and bars
And in movies like Ocean’s Eleven.
He’ll recount, in a manner serene
The way of a king with a queen
And of diamonds and hearts
And the knave’s purloined tarts
In Alice, where the queen was quite mean.
He’ll talk of the straight and the flush
And now he’s beginning to rush
As he tries for his goal
Of ace in the hole
And he hopes that the lady won’t blush.
*Only draw poker has drawers.